auss246

I've never felt this way

Wed, 03 Feb 2010 11:04:43 GMT

My best friend just called me. I've been texting her for two weeks and she's ignored me. I find it out its cause she's been 'thinking' and finally decided we should part ways. She reckons the last few times we've hung out she felt uncomfortable - I sensed nothing. She gets told I've been bitching about her for the last 1.5 years - I only bitched about her boyfriend cause I and everyone else knows he's a cheating, lying bastard! Then she reckons maybe she's just changed, and I'm thinking 'hell yeah its all you!' I was shattered, but I'm getting over that part. Now I'm bitter, and I'm feeling very vindictive and angry.. I want her boyfriend to screw her over, just so she knows I was right the entire time. It's made me feel very vulnerable and scared of losing my other best friend, even though we're on great terms atm. I'm a little paranoid, and I don't wanna feel that way cause I know where I'm at with my other friends. I'm seeing a few of them on Friday night so I'm just gonna get drunk and forget about that bitch XD I'd rather we parted after a screaming match, cause then it might not hurt so bad..

Lol I'm not usually this emo. I'm a generally happy person, so this is probably the only time I'd rant this way. And I've never felt so needing of revenge before. I've always been like that, wanting bad things for people who have done bad things to me, but she's really fucked me over this time. DX I'm just not used to the hurt of losing a friend. I've lost 2 friends I've cared deeply for in the last 2-3 years, and I don't wanna lose anymore.

Also, maybe if she'd made an effort to see me like I did, she wouldn't feel like we have nothing in common! DX

My puppy!!

Fri, 22 Jan 2010 02:05:59 GMT

He's a Shitzu x Maltese Terrier... and he's so short and fluffy. When I got him he was the runt of his litter but now he's all big and strong and tries to push around the oldest dog we have XD

Here's my baby Murphy!

I love my baby to bits! XD And hopefully these photos come out alright in a post.. never done this on LJ before. I'm a bit of a newb XD

...

Thu, 21 Jan 2010 07:07:10 GMT

Computer crashed. Again. No words for it. I unplugged the thing (rather harshly) and drove it down to the computer guy close by. Basically every time it rebooted I installed Windows again, and I forgot to delete the old one so I've got three Windows installations on there and all three had the same problem cause I never deleted the problem the first time. Anyway he thinks my RAM might be faulty.. here's hoping. I want my baby back.. I have assignments goddammit!

On a brighter note, I don't think I told anybody I got a puppy last April... and he's a poser for the camera XD He'll be a year old on February 12.. I'm gonna post some pics later :)

Oh no it didn't.

Sat, 16 Jan 2010 08:16:26 GMT

Guess what happened? Oh no, go ahead and guess, I'll wait..
Hint: If I had a hammer, my comptuter would be dead for good, and I'd be smiling.

IT CRASHED AGAIN! I have no idea wtf is happening... I was halfway through my assignment. Now it's gone.. again. And the stupid thing was seconds prior to the incident it was on my damn USB stick. It wouldn't open from the USB stick so I deleted it and opened the folder it was in to copy into onto there again. But then the computer said it needed to complete an update by restarting, so ignorant me forgot about the document. You can probably imagine how far my jaw dropped when I saw the message 'reboot required' (or something along those lines) on my screen. I'm not gonna bother rebooting for now, it can stay like that till I'm ready to waste another hour putting EVERYTHING back into the fucker (excuse my language, but I'm clearly frustrated).

On another note, I don't think I've ever posted as frequently.. two posts in one day - I just had to rant.

And I actually feel bad for being angry at my computer... I'm on my sister's for now, but once I've finished my assignment and emailed it off I'm gonna run right back to my own computer to reboot it.. and maybe apologise XD

My worst nightmare.

Sat, 16 Jan 2010 04:58:07 GMT

My stupid piece of shit computer crashed.. well it's not shit but it DID crash. I lost EVERYTHING - my music, pictures, videos, documents. The worst part was I lost an assignment that's due tomorrow, and all my research for 3 other assignments due soon. Thankfully I kept all my back-up discs so obviously it's up and running now (or else I wouldn't be posting).. and thank god I wrote my assignment before typing it up. This is a lesson that I should maybe keep my work on a USB from now on.. Now I have to type my assignment all over again, and I really am not looking forward to it (it doesn't seem like much effort, but I REALLY hate repeating things and redoing things, it makes me go psycho).

Backsies!

Sat, 02 Jan 2010 02:27:11 GMT

Just a really really short post to let everyone know I'm back from holidays! Lol New Years Eve on the beach was so up-and-down for me. Had shots, ran down the beach with my sister and some other people, counted down the new year, watched the fireworks at Surfers from a pretty good vantage point... but 2010 did not start well lol. So much shit happened, pretty personal (not for me, for people I know) so I will not go into it. But let me sum it up: violence, abuse, swearing, tears, runaways... Lol hope everyone else had a good Christmas and a good New Year :)

Christmas Post

Thu, 24 Dec 2009 05:17:29 GMT

While I'm thinking of it, just thought I'd wish everyone on my f-list a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! XD Hope you all enjoy the holidays.. I know I will XD I'm off to the Gold Coast for a week! So looking forward to it. I'm heading off on Boxing Day, so I won't be online for about a week. But I'm right on the beach, and in the middle of everything, so I'm gonna be plenty distracted. Happy holidays everyone! XD

Piano Sheets

Tue, 15 Dec 2009 12:34:17 GMT

Does anyone know where I would be able to find Ayumi Hamasaki's 'Memorial Address' piano score? I have looked everywhere, but no luck :( I tried playing by watching videos of people playing the music on piano, but it's not as useful as the actual sheet music would be. By some miracle, does anyone here know where I could get it, or perhaps point me in the right direction?

Much appreciated guys! :)

Best birthday present ever!!

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 09:33:27 GMT

Last night, I went to see my favourite band: GREEN DAY! It was a day after my birthday, but the tickets were a gift from my parents. I went with my sister and three friends, and omg they were so awesome live!! I have to admit their newest album '21st Century Breakdown' wasn't as impressive as their last one, but they played the songs from it I really enjoyed... 21st Century Breakdown, 21 Guns, Know Your Enemy, and American Eulogy (I think..). But when they broke into American Idiot and their old stuff, I started screaming so loud. All I can say is they sounded so good live, especially Billie Joe. His voice is amazing! My favourite Green Day songs would be Holiday, Boulevard of Broken Dreams, and Hitchin' a Ride so I was mega happy when they played those! They ended up 2 encores cause we couldn't stop screaming.. and they covered 'Highway to Hell' by ACDC quite nicely XD All in all it was a good night, I'm just disappointed I wasn't patient enough to stand in the merchandise line and buy something. It was my first concert, and 19 years on, I think it was well worth the wait! Can't wait till they come back to Australia again!

Formal madness!!

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 04:29:19 GMT

Today is the day of my sister's formal... and it's stressing everyone out! By everyone I mean myself, my mum, and my sister. Now my entire family are impatient, have bad tempers, and get cranky under stress quite easily. I just got my P's, so I've been running people and myself around all day going to hair and nail appointments, and just got back from my sister's hair appointment. Her hair looks pretty good, but different from her Saturday hair trial. And she's pissed. Like, she's on the warpath. Our good friend Jjai is here (he's going to the formal as well, he even bought her a corsage cause she had no date) and it must be so awkward for him, with 3 women all arguing with each other and running around like chickens with their heads cut off. We've been snapping at each other over makeup, her hair, outfits. She's gotta go get her makeup done in half an hour, god help the woman who takes on that job. So now I have to set up my makeup so I can get it done quicker... so frustrated! And it's so damn hard to type with French tips DX I'm getting used to it but typing this much so quickly is making them feel funny.

Gazette's new single

Wed, 07 Oct 2009 11:30:15 GMT

Wow!! I'm liking the gazettes new single! Before I Decay was ok. It's not my favourite, but I could listen to it without it getting old. But the second song is so awesome! It's so catchy, and I pretty much prefer it.

Anyway, back to my assignment which is due tomorrow! I've gone over the word limit by 1000 words and have no idea how to cut it down DX But other than that, I'm actually rather pleased with it. I've never felt more confident about an assignment. Except hopefully I won't lose too many marks for going over the word count..

I'm bored.

Back from the footy!

Sat, 19 Sep 2009 13:24:01 GMT

So exciting! I'm partially deaf (the guys behind me were screaming for both teams!) but Brisbane beat the Dragons 24-10! Woot!

Downside: the lines at the bus stop to get home were soooooo long... it's surprisingly hot when you're all packed in like that.. :(

Still, it was worth it. Just wish we hadn't been so high up! Four rows from the very top! Thank god the vertigo didn't kick in..

Like A Lily - Prologue

Fri, 18 Sep 2009 11:25:02 GMT

I don't know how this'll go, but we'll see. Here's the prologue of my new fic, Like A Lily.

“Emi!” Yuri screamed, running towards the burning building that held her siblings captive. Soldiers on horseback were rampaging through their tiny village, spearing civilians and guards alike. Yuri had managed to find a place to hide, until the enemy soldiers had set the village on fire. Now she had to rescue her siblings from the fire. She had no idea where her parents were, but they were missing.

“Emi! Are you in there?!” Yuri cried out again, trying to peer through a window. Suddenly, a beam crashed to the ground in front of her, and she fell backwards in fright. She could hear a loud sobbing over the roar of the fire, and she knew someone was alive in there.

“Kimiko?” Yuri mumbled, trying to recognise whose voice she could hear. Her little sister was definitely the one making all the noise in there. Please don’t let that mean she’s the only one alive...

“Yuri!” came the voice of her older brother, Eri. She glanced to her right and saw him stumbling around the corner before collapsing to his knees in front of her.

“Eri!” she exclaimed, reaching over and pulling him into a tight hug. “Where are the others?”

“I... I don’t know,” he stammered. “I’ve been on the other side of the hut, trying to get a look inside, but it’s too smoky.”

“I can hear Kimiko crying in there, so there might still be survivors,” Yuri said hopefully. “We need to get in there, but the entry’s blocked off and we’ll be burned alive.”

Eri grabbed the wooden beam that had fallen, and began to shove it against the slab of wood that covered the window. “The wood should have weakened, so hopefully it’ll open for us!”

Sure enough, the beam broke through and smoke began pouring out of the window and into the night air.

“Stay here!” Eri demanded, hoisting himself up and scurrying through the window. Yuri nodded, but shielded her eyes from the heat, edging closer to the window to hear what was going on.

“Kimiko, you’re okay,” she heard Eri say, and breathed her first sigh of relief.

Yuri took her hand from her eyes just as Eri started to push Kimiko through the window. “Take her, Yuri. Take her far away.”

“What about Emi? And Naruhito?” she asked fearfully.

“Just go!” he yelled, and disappeared into the smoke.

Yuri took Kimiko firmly by the waist and began running for the river down a hill behind their hut. The soldiers hadn’t found them so far, and the area behind their hut had plenty of hiding places.

When she reached the river, Yuri took Kimiko behind a large rock and huddled on the ground.

“Don’t worry, Kimiko,” she soothed, stroking the child’s hair. “Eri will be back with the others soon.”

~~

An hour passed, and the cries of dying villagers faded. The smoke continued to rise, but the fires were fading, and the soldiers were slowly retreating from the now-empty village. And Eri hadn’t found them yet. Yuri hoped that he had rescued the others and brought them this way.

Yuri left a sleeping Kimiko by the boulder and crept towards the hut again. She lifted herself and peered through the window, only to gasp when she saw two badly-burned bodies draped over one another. She shoved a hand over her mouth to stop from screaming in case she drew attention. Naruhito and Emi both gazed upwards, their eyes glazed over, not blinking. Yuri stifled a sob, and was about to climb through the window when she heard a scream come from the direction of the river.

“Kimiko!” she whispered before dropping to the ground and sprinting for the river as quietly as she could. As the river came into view, Yuri stopped dead as she saw three enemy soldiers, their armour glinting in the moonlight, but their faces hidden by shadows. One was holding Kimiko by the hair, pulling harshly and laughing as she screamed repeatedly.

“Who do we have here?” the soldier asked, and they all cocked their heads slightly, their interest piqued.

“Let her go.” Yuri tried to make her voice as threatening as possible, but it only succeeded in making the soldiers laugh.

“Does this belong to you?” the soldier holding Kimiko asked, giving her hair another swift tug. Kimiko whimpered, wiping the tears from her eyes with balled fists.

“She’s not a dog,” Yuri snarled. “She’s my sister. Give her to me.”

“We have orders to take her to the palace.”

Everyone turned to look curiously at the soldier who had spoken. He looked around at them all and bowed his head, shadowing his face even further.

“She’s the prettiest woman I’ve seen in this village,” he added, and everyone slowly nodded their agreement. Suddenly, their eyes displayed realisation, as if they’d only just remembered something.

“That’s right,” the soldier holding Kimiko piped up. “The Emperor wants all the pretty women we find at the palace by dawn.”

“We should take her with us. She’s the only one we left alive,” the tall soldier explained. They all nodded again, but straightened up, on alert as Yuri made a sudden movement. Except she wasn’t on the attack, she had dropped to the ground.

“You killed... everyone?” she asked disbelievingly, though the tears in her eyes betrayed the idea that she didn’t believe it.

“We were told only to keep the pretty ones alive.”

Yuri didn’t look for the person who answered her question. She felt hands on either side of her arms and began to struggle, but a swift kick to the back stilled her. She yelped and went limp in their arms.

“Please, spare my sister. Let her come with me,” Yuri pleaded softly.

“I suppose,” the tall soldier granted, and then yelled out that they were departing. They all retreated to the area where their horses were tied and waiting. The tall soldier summoned the men holding Yuri to his side, and pulled her onto his horse in front of him.

“Kimiko!” Yuri screamed, holding out her arms for her younger sister.

“She’ll ride behind us,” the tall soldier explained. “Be still, or I’ll tie you by the neck and make you walk all the way to the Imperial Palace.”

The tall soldier glanced behind him, and gave a furtive nod of the head before roaring out another command. The horses all began moving in unison, following the river downstream, and towards the exit of the village.

As they reached the gates, the man holding Kimiko swiftly landed a blow on her neck, causing her to let out a strangled cry and fall unconscious. Suddenly, he let her slip from the horse.

Over the sound of the army of horses, Yuri didn’t hear her sister fall, and was too shell-shocked to turn around and check on her. She was thinking about the disappearance of Eri. Where had he gone? Why had he run off?

Yuri couldn’t understand it. Emi was his twin sister; they had been closer than anybody else could have been. He couldn’t have just left her there to die. He’d saved Kimiko, why couldn’t he save the others?

Yuri refused to let her confusion turn to hatred. She would never, ever turn her back on a sibling. She wasn’t entirely sure that that’s what Eri had done.

“Please, let me find you again,” she whispered to herself, clasping her hands together in prayer. “So you can explain what you did.”

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Damn Fridays...

Fri, 18 Sep 2009 08:21:11 GMT

It's a Friday night and I'm so terribly bored... there is NOTHING to do! >:(

On a brighter note, I'm looking forward to going to the footy tomorrow night! Woot for Brisbane! I love NRL... :P

The Diary - Epilogue

Wed, 16 Sep 2009 09:10:14 GMT

Here we go, final chapter of The Diary XD Please enjoy, I hope it's been a pleasurable reading experience for anyone who read this!

As the news vans and emergency services arrived on the scene, five bodies were wheeled on stretchers out of the house. Four boys, one girl: only one survivor.

Yuya came running forward until she reached the tape they’d placed around the perimeter of the house. She gasped as she saw one of the boys being covered with a sheet.

“Sachi...” she whispered, her lip quivering. So they hadn’t done anything with him. They just left him in there to suffer and die.

Akihito stood near the tape, watching the smallest body come towards them. This one wasn’t covered from head to toe with a sheet. A pale, shaking face looked up towards them.

“Daddy...” she whimpered, coughing hoarsely.

Akihito breathed a deep sigh of relief, and ducked under the tape to throw himself lightly over his daughter. He stroked her hair and rained kissed down on her cheeks and forehead.

“My baby... I’ve finally found you.”

She tried to raise her arm, but the paramedic forced it back down gently. “You need to rest. Don’t try and exert yourself.”

Akihito watched as Kiyoko was placed in an ambulance. He glanced behind him to see his family rushing in her direction. Mayumi was crying and sobbing loudly as she jumped into the ambulance and took her daughter’s hands in her own. Her siblings followed suit, and the doors closed.

Akihito desperately wanted to go with her, but he wanted to find out everything that had happened here, first. He gazed down at Yuya and saw her face turning white, tears frozen in her eyes. Her lips were trembling still. Eichi’s body was wheeled past her, and she could only stare down at his lifeless eyes before they were quickly covered over and put into another ambulance.

“I’m sorry for your loss,” Akihito muttered, though he knew he truly wasn’t sorry for Eichi’s death. He knew that Yuya had had a relationship with this boy, as crazy as that seemed to him.

“I’m not mourning for him,” she whispered back, and headed towards the ambulance which occupied Sachi’s body.

Hitoshi and Junzo came towards Akihito, carrying a worn, leather book. Hitoshi was placing it in a plastic, zip-lock bag.

“What’s that?” Akihito asked.

“It contains the rest of the diary entries that Kiyoko wrote while she was down in the basement,” Hitoshi explained. “But I can’t let you read it. Some of it... it’s horrific.”

Akihito nodded in understanding, and let them both pass. As they walked away, Akihito called out and ran to catch up to them.

“Was my daughter hurt when you found her?”

Hitoshi glanced at Junzo quickly before nodding solemnly. “I’m afraid so. She’d been shot in both legs, her left arm, and her torso.”

Akihito nearly passed out, but he fought the urge to collapse. “When I heard her scream, I thought... I thought we were too late.”

“We thought so too,” Hitoshi admitted. “But luckily, we were able to take Eichi down and Kiyoko is expected to survive her wounds.”

Akihito sighed deeply, relief sweeping over him. “Thank you both for all of your help.”

Both detectives bowed their heads in reply and walked away.

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“He’s only died recently,” the coroner explained to Hitoshi and Junzo. The coroner was referring to Sachi’s body, and Yuya gasped. If they’d been earlier, maybe they could have saved him.

Hitoshi’s attention turned on Yuya, and he gave her an apologetic look. “Were you close to this boy?”

“He was the kindest boy I’d ever met,” Yuya replied quietly, fresh tears spilling down her face. “He gave Kiyoko hope... and he gave me hope too.”

“It’s sad to think that boys like him could get involved in such messes,” the coroner mumbled. She climbed into the back of the ambulance and closed the doors behind her.

Yuya gazed up at Hitoshi, her eyes filled with uncertainty. She was the only survivor of this: would it all fall on her shoulders?

Junzo whispered something in Hitoshi’s ear and he nodded.

“Detective Ishibashi will take you home, Miss Nakasawa,” Hitoshi explained. “We won’t be calling on you anytime soon.”

Yuya nodded thankfully at him, and bowed her head. “Thank you so much, detectives.”

“Thank you for helping us save that girl’s life,” Junzo replied, and motioned for her to follow him to his car.

Yuya looked back at the scene before she got into the car. She won’t forget what happened there... I am truly sorry for the pain I caused you, Kiyoko. It hurts so much I want to die.

Her thoughts turned to Sachi, and she couldn’t help but cry again. Please don’t forget the sacrifice he made for you... but I have faith that you won’t.

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Kiyoko lay in her hospital room, staring out the window. It had been three days, and she hadn’t stopped crying while she was awake, and having nightmares when she slept. One day, her mother had promised, she’ll be able to move on and lead the normal life she deserved.

But Kiyoko hadn’t been crying for herself, she’d been crying for Yuya, and for Sachi. She hadn’t seen them since she’d escaped. She’d offered Yuya a weak smile, and Yuya had stroked her hand, flashing a courageous smile right back at her. And as she’d been lifted into an ambulance, she’d seen Sachi’s body being wheeled away.

Maybe when we’re both better, we’ll see each other again. We can visit each other, and remain close. But we’ll forget how we came to meet. That would just bring too much pain to us both.

Kiyoko thought he was fine. She thought that one day he’d walk through that door. And he’d kiss her, hold her, and make her forget.

She prayed that she wasn’t wrong. She vowed to wait for the day they’d meet again. She hoped it was soon.

She didn’t expect her hope would have to last forever.

The End.

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I may write some other stuff in the future, I've started something, but I don't know whether or not I'll be able to get the feel of it. We'll see. Thanks for reading! XD

The Diary - Epilogue

Wed, 16 Sep 2009 09:07:11 GMT

Ok, Epilogue done! I think I cried a little while writing this... but then again, I was listening to sad music to get in the mood. Anyway, hope it's an alright ending, and I hope my little story was enjoyed XD Here we go!